Just before I step into morning practice, I poke my head out the front door to greet the carpenter who is here doing some work on the house for us. “Have everything you need,” I ask? To which he responds, “I always have everything I need.” A long pause ensues during which the profound Truth of his statement hovers in the space between us. And then, it gets even better. As he walks away, he adds, “Of course, it’s really about whether I know that or not.”
Whoosh. Again Something passes over and between us. So stunning in its clarity that no more words are needed. Except, for me to thank him for blowing my mind.
Beyond a practice. Beyond reading something. Beyond the news, the fears, and the conjured complications of it all, can we quiet ourselves down long enough to lay back into that knowing? Can we choose to do that whether things are going our way or not? Whether we understand the comings and goings of others or not? Whether the world is of our making or not?
Like so many of us who are just beginning to pick our heads up, I have found these times honing me. Ever refining and chiseling me down, and down and down into depths I did not know I possessed. Into fears I did not know owned me. Into gratitude I did not know was available to me. Into abundance beyond belief. I have gone easily, and I have gone kicking and screaming. I have accepted, and I have refused. I have taken responsibility, and I have blamed. I have been a champion, and I have been a victim.
I have been it All.
And while at times I have believed one state preferable to another, at least in this moment, on this particular day, I can tell you that these times have required it all. Continue to require it all. From all of us. Whether messy or clean. Clear or obscured. Calm or tumultuous. Sane or insane. Courageous or fearful. Everything has been required so that we can say we left nothing on the table. So that we can sort through it all; deciding what to step forward with, and what to leave behind.
To do this though requires a willingness to imagine that things could be different. Need to be different. Not different out there, but different, in here. That it is not about enduring or acquiescing until we can get back to the way things were. That is not only impossible, it is not desirable. We are not here to expect some lesser version of life because that is all we can expect now given what we have been through. No. What is required is to rise up from within the very Life inside of you. Sourced from the place that knows you have everything you need. Sourced from the place that knows a lot has to fall apart and be chaotic and confusing. Sourced from the place wise enough to engage with it all; trusting that once the dust settles what is wanting to be born will be revealed. And that it has been worth waiting for.
Everything we need is already here. The question is, will we see that? Will we use that knowing to disrupt old patterns, old ways of being that keep the wrong things alive? Or will we settle for a less than alive version of our lives here? That choice always is, always has been, and always will be, ours alone to make. Difficult? Yes. Arduous? Absolutely. But always, and in all ways, a way back to the knowing that we have everything we need, that how we use that, or not, is always up to us, and that how it all shows up is not within our control.
Therefore, perhaps the wisest course of action is to do what we do, feel what we feel, and see what we see through the lens that it is All Here For Us.