I am just back from a walking pilgrimage I did with a friend in Scotland. As you might imagine, I started out with ideas about what this time away would be like; how things would go and what it was I wanted to happen. Immediately, as in on my first flight out, I was “gifted” with a wrench in the works in the form of a missed connection to Scotland where I was to be meeting my friend in the airport the next day, and then going on to our first leg of the journey.

I put “gifted” in quotes because we typically don’t associate our plans being interrupted as a gift. But that’s exactly what it was for me. Why? Because I got the chance to see what thirty years of practicing mindfulness, of being present to the moment instead of fighting with it, can do for a person. Especially under less than desirable circumstances. Especially when we feel like something hangs in the balance.

We all want things to go the way we want them to go. We all create scenarios in our minds around what will happen if we don’t get what we want. We all do our best to manage the experience of being alive with all of its uncertainties by believing we have far more control than we actually do.

But that’s precisely where the suffering comes from: Our ideas about how things need to go, or else… Or else we won’t be ok. Or else we won’t be happy, safe, loved, you name it. That things will be ruined. That we won’t be able to handle what life throws our way. That we won’t get what we need.

But none of that is true. What is true is that when we can be with things as they are, even when we don’t like them, we give ourselves the gift of peace of mind. Of sanity. Of being aligned with reality in such a way that not only can we be ok, but miracles can actually occur.

This was my experience while being stranded in an airport as I was missing my connection. Missing my meeting time with my friend in Edinburgh. Missing our first night to get acclimated. Missing our first day out on the trail. Just hearing about all of this missing out could leave many of us feeling frustrated, resentful, angry, or despondent.

But in this situation and on this day, I was none of those things. Without even trying. Without putting on a happy face or trying to think positively. I was plainly and simply, ok to be exactly where I was.

It would be easy here to focus on what a bummer it was or how the trip was ruined. But I’m here to say it was none of that. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I got to discover how many wonderful strangers are out there as I spent time talking with anyone who would talk to me. I got the chance to see how at home I am in my own skin. And I got to be the recipient of so many miracles and kindnesses, small and large, that happen in a busy airport when you are not fighting the ten hours you will be spending there.

Because I allowed myself to surrender so peacefully and so fully to what was happening, I spent a wonderful day in the airport eating, reading, meditating, reflecting, doing yoga and walking. Somewhere in the midst of it all, I realized I hadn’t missed a single thing. That I was in fact, already on my pilgrimage. That what I had been intending for my time away was already happening quite beautifully. That nothing was wrong. Nor was I missing anything.

I don’t tell you this to brag about myself. I tell you this to say, life is going to do what life is going to do, so why not surrender up your ideas about how things need to go? Why not admit when you have no control over a situation? Why not let yourself settle into “what is?”

Of course this requires practice. Lots of it because of how conditioned we are to believe that we are the epicenter of how the world should and must operate. This is as simple as getting into the habit of saying “yes.” Yes to the weather that is here. Yes to the politics of the day. Yes to what the people around you are doing. Yes to what your body is feeling.

Not because you like it or want it to stick around, but purely as the sanest gesture to yourself to admit that, yes, in fact, this is here. Whatever it is. Now you are in a position to be with Life on Life’s terms. Meaning that whatever you do or don’t do will be coming from an alignment with the reality of the situation at hand, as opposed to some fantasy or denial about how you need things to be.